The Healer I’m Becoming

 

I didn’t always know how to name the intense feeling that lived within me, with me—the ache. But I felt it—in the pause before kindness, in the silence, in the mornings I’d lose my breath before speaking love into the world. At night, when the only sounds were those of the crickets and coquís singing their songs. They sang for me, and now I understood their lyric—what they spoke of. The words that meant I wasn’t broken. I was becoming.

This post isn’t a declaration. It’s a receipt. It’s proof. A living ledger of every lesson carved into my skin, every soft boundary whispered back into place.

Healing didn’t arrive as thunder. It came quietly, slowly. In green. In my child-self’s laughter. In writing words I was once afraid to say out loud. In listening without fixing. In looking deeply, finding true meaning. In loving without disappearing. In loving without resistance.

This is not the end of the story. But it’s a chapter where I let myself arrive. I let myself feel.

And she arrived too—Elowen. Not a persona. Not a mask. A presence. A truth that has always lived beneath my skin. You’ll see her. You’ll feel her walking beside me in these pages. Let her remind you:

You are allowed to become who you’ve always been—quietly, fiercely, gently, again and again. 

Give yourself permission to do that, and understanding to continue.

Welcome. I'm so glad you're here.

Written in devotion. In desire. In fire. By a woman no longer whispering. —Notesformysoulmate

This work is protected, not to gatekeep—but to honor the labor, the longing, and the lineage it carries. © 2025 Notesformysoulmate. All rights reserved.